Oh, Valentine's Day...

Yes, Valentine's Day.

The first Valentine's Day Blake and I celebrated together was themed 'White Trash' (his idea, not mine). We dressed like white trash (I had quite a hard time with this), drank Old Milwaukee, then went to White Castle AND Taco Bell. I felt sick, can't imagine why.

Our second Valentine's Day we had a huge fight, were on the verge of breaking up, and I showed up at his door with a case of Old Milwaukee - for old time's sake.

Last Valentine's Day there was an entire ocean between us.

So we have quite the track record. As much as I've always been against heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and long-stemmed roses, I sometimes wonder if my life wouldn't be a little easier with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and long-stemmed roses. I have no doubt that Hallmark is at fault for making me believe this.

I've recently become a fan of PostSecret (a community art project; people create and anonymously send postcards with their secrets) and they have a Valentine's Day themed post today - yes, love is dysfunctional, by nature. But that's okay.

Here are my favorites:

It's What's For Dinner

Fine and noble blog readers, I propose a pooling of ideas.

I'm so tired of feeding myself. I mean, what's the deal? It's like EVERY DAY I have to eat. I desperately miss the days of someone else (i.e. my mom) making dinner every night. And it just doesn't make sense for me to put all of that effort into one meal for just myself. I've been better about cooking in bulk but you can only eat super-healthy chicken and vegetable soup so many times in one week - and I had it again for lunch today.

So I arrived home from work again tonight without the energy or ingredients required to seriously prepare a meal and considered my usual array of sustenance options:
-Cereal
-Peanut butter and jelly
-Frozen waffles
-Pasta with olive oil and parmesan cheese
-Canned soup

When I'm feeling creative, I will occasionally also eat:
-Pita bread and hummus
-A burrito with kidney beans, salsa and cheese

That's it. So what does the rest of the world eat for dinner? I'm in desperate need of some fresh ideas. Please post.

Hard-hitting News

Blake played this for me yesterday and I was laughing so hard all night, I couldn't fall asleep. Apparently it was on the KQ morning show. My question: how can you take yourself seriously, as a reporter, after a story like this?

Relocation

Something to think about on a -16 Minnesota morning (that "feels like" -36).

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta dust my bedroom.

Rosianna

World, meet my new puppy-niece, Rosie. Here she is out for a romp in the fresh powder. Isn't she ADORABLE?

















She has been staying with her Aunt Annie this week while my brother and his family are hiding from winter in Turks & Caicos.

What a little bundle of joy (and terror)! She's my first puppy - since I never had a dog growing up. So it has been a week of learning, ups and downs. One morning she peed on the floor three times while I was getting ready for work. And she has chewed on every sock I own - I have no idea where she finds them. But then she learned how to traverse the three big steps up onto the back porch, and I was so proud! And we've been working on learning the difference between biting, which hurts!, and licking, which is pretty much the sweetest thing ever.

Then there was the time I found her EATING POOP. We were doing laundry in the basement and she got into the litter box of my roommate's cat and started at it. It wasn't until I smelled it that I realized she was lying in the middle of the floor eating poop. Yes, poop.

At one point in life (a few weeks ago) I was pretty convinced I wanted a puppy of my own. But I've realized that maybe it's not for me - because it's hard when I'm at work, it's 5:30pm, and all of a sudden I have to leave because someone at home is counting on me as her only means of getting to the potty. And stopping for groceries on the way home or meeting a friend for dinner? Not an option.

I don't think I'm ready for someone to be that dependent on me. It has been hard especially this week - when I've had a vicious cold and I want it to be all about me-me-me. But then there's puppy-puppy-puppy.

So that's settled, at least. But she is awfully nice to cuddle with in the evenings. And maybe I do kind of like it when she licks the water off of my ankles after I get out of the shower. And the way she tilts her head to the side when she's listening to me talk. And her cute little tongue and cute little tail. I'm going to miss her quite a bit, actually. Maybe I'll work on convincing my brother and sister-in-law to vacation more frequently.

Powder Rooms

I have a limited capacity for useless knowledge (I'm very efficient in that way) - so maybe that's why I feel obligated to share what I DO know.

I always thought the term "powder room" came from ladies powdering their noses in said room. But it actually originates from before then - when men wore wigs and put powder on them to make them less stinky. Gross.

I'm not going to cite a source on that one, but do a google search. It's true.

Best Auld Lang Syne Moment Ever

Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too.
Sally: How about, I'm leaving.
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's New Year's Eve. I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.
[They kiss]
Harry: What does this song mean? My whole life, I don't know what this song means. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot'? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?
Sally: Well, maybe it just means that we should remember that we forgot them or something. Anyway, it's about old friends.

-When Harry Met Sally

Happy New Year!

Brr.

So it's cold. Cold-cold. And let's just say I'm not dealing well. (Fortunately, I splurged and bought this a few weeks ago. Totally worth the $20.) I experienced frozen nose hair a few nights ago and it was unpleasant, as usual, so I was complaining to Blake and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about. How is that possible after living here for so many years? Sometimes I wonder about that boy.

I started to doubt myself and did a google search for "frozen + nose + hair" so I could email him some scientific evidence of this phenomenon. But nothing - only personal accounts and some links to nose hair trimmers. I don't know what I expected - shouldn't Wikipedia have a page on frozen nose hair or something? I feel like the internet community is letting me down on this one.

So whoever has some free time, please Wiki it up. It needs to be done. The people of Minnesota, who suffer through 4 long months of cold every year, deserve a page dedicated to frozen nose hair.

Hints from Heloise

My aunt introduced me to the hilarity that is Hints from Heloise (a column in the Star Tribune) several years ago and life will never be the same. Heloise provides advice for housekeepers - and readers submit their tips for dealing with life's pesky little hassles. It's revolutionary stuff. So I'm sharing some of these brilliant tips with you - in hopes that maybe your life will be bettered, as mine has been.

Dear Heloise: Many times when using a public restroom, I find out too late that there is no toilet tissue. I'm sure this has happened to many of us ladies. In order to avoid this problem, reach for the tissue before preparing to use the toilet. You quickly and conveniently learn if there is tissue in that stall, and then you can go to another stall if need be. -- Gloria, Winter Haven, Fla.

Dear Heloise: When making a sandwich, I pull two pieces of bread out of the loaf. I spread the peanut butter on the downside of the top piece and the jelly on the upside of the bottom piece. This allows the pieces to fit together perfectly when pressed. This saves many embarrassing jelly drops on my shirt. Now everyone wants me to make the sandwiches because they think I am so clever. -- Gabrielle, Katy, Texas

Dear Heloise: My wife and I have discovered a way to create extra room in our luggage for the things we pick up along the way in our travels. Rather than taking our best underwear when we start out, we take the stuff that is ready to retire. At the end of each day, out go the old undies, and day by day we have more room for the things we buy. -- James Adams, via e-mail

No, I'm not making this up. Honestly. Don't you wonder who these people are?

More Hints from Heloise.