Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta dust my bedroom.

Rosianna

World, meet my new puppy-niece, Rosie. Here she is out for a romp in the fresh powder. Isn't she ADORABLE?

















She has been staying with her Aunt Annie this week while my brother and his family are hiding from winter in Turks & Caicos.

What a little bundle of joy (and terror)! She's my first puppy - since I never had a dog growing up. So it has been a week of learning, ups and downs. One morning she peed on the floor three times while I was getting ready for work. And she has chewed on every sock I own - I have no idea where she finds them. But then she learned how to traverse the three big steps up onto the back porch, and I was so proud! And we've been working on learning the difference between biting, which hurts!, and licking, which is pretty much the sweetest thing ever.

Then there was the time I found her EATING POOP. We were doing laundry in the basement and she got into the litter box of my roommate's cat and started at it. It wasn't until I smelled it that I realized she was lying in the middle of the floor eating poop. Yes, poop.

At one point in life (a few weeks ago) I was pretty convinced I wanted a puppy of my own. But I've realized that maybe it's not for me - because it's hard when I'm at work, it's 5:30pm, and all of a sudden I have to leave because someone at home is counting on me as her only means of getting to the potty. And stopping for groceries on the way home or meeting a friend for dinner? Not an option.

I don't think I'm ready for someone to be that dependent on me. It has been hard especially this week - when I've had a vicious cold and I want it to be all about me-me-me. But then there's puppy-puppy-puppy.

So that's settled, at least. But she is awfully nice to cuddle with in the evenings. And maybe I do kind of like it when she licks the water off of my ankles after I get out of the shower. And the way she tilts her head to the side when she's listening to me talk. And her cute little tongue and cute little tail. I'm going to miss her quite a bit, actually. Maybe I'll work on convincing my brother and sister-in-law to vacation more frequently.

Powder Rooms

I have a limited capacity for useless knowledge (I'm very efficient in that way) - so maybe that's why I feel obligated to share what I DO know.

I always thought the term "powder room" came from ladies powdering their noses in said room. But it actually originates from before then - when men wore wigs and put powder on them to make them less stinky. Gross.

I'm not going to cite a source on that one, but do a google search. It's true.

Best Auld Lang Syne Moment Ever

Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too.
Sally: How about, I'm leaving.
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's New Year's Eve. I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.
[They kiss]
Harry: What does this song mean? My whole life, I don't know what this song means. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot'? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?
Sally: Well, maybe it just means that we should remember that we forgot them or something. Anyway, it's about old friends.

-When Harry Met Sally

Happy New Year!

Brr.

So it's cold. Cold-cold. And let's just say I'm not dealing well. (Fortunately, I splurged and bought this a few weeks ago. Totally worth the $20.) I experienced frozen nose hair a few nights ago and it was unpleasant, as usual, so I was complaining to Blake and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about. How is that possible after living here for so many years? Sometimes I wonder about that boy.

I started to doubt myself and did a google search for "frozen + nose + hair" so I could email him some scientific evidence of this phenomenon. But nothing - only personal accounts and some links to nose hair trimmers. I don't know what I expected - shouldn't Wikipedia have a page on frozen nose hair or something? I feel like the internet community is letting me down on this one.

So whoever has some free time, please Wiki it up. It needs to be done. The people of Minnesota, who suffer through 4 long months of cold every year, deserve a page dedicated to frozen nose hair.

Hints from Heloise

My aunt introduced me to the hilarity that is Hints from Heloise (a column in the Star Tribune) several years ago and life will never be the same. Heloise provides advice for housekeepers - and readers submit their tips for dealing with life's pesky little hassles. It's revolutionary stuff. So I'm sharing some of these brilliant tips with you - in hopes that maybe your life will be bettered, as mine has been.

Dear Heloise: Many times when using a public restroom, I find out too late that there is no toilet tissue. I'm sure this has happened to many of us ladies. In order to avoid this problem, reach for the tissue before preparing to use the toilet. You quickly and conveniently learn if there is tissue in that stall, and then you can go to another stall if need be. -- Gloria, Winter Haven, Fla.

Dear Heloise: When making a sandwich, I pull two pieces of bread out of the loaf. I spread the peanut butter on the downside of the top piece and the jelly on the upside of the bottom piece. This allows the pieces to fit together perfectly when pressed. This saves many embarrassing jelly drops on my shirt. Now everyone wants me to make the sandwiches because they think I am so clever. -- Gabrielle, Katy, Texas

Dear Heloise: My wife and I have discovered a way to create extra room in our luggage for the things we pick up along the way in our travels. Rather than taking our best underwear when we start out, we take the stuff that is ready to retire. At the end of each day, out go the old undies, and day by day we have more room for the things we buy. -- James Adams, via e-mail

No, I'm not making this up. Honestly. Don't you wonder who these people are?

More Hints from Heloise.

Morning Rant

I really want the sun to be up when I awake. Is that too much to ask?

And who scheduled daylight savings time this year? It's so off.

End Rant

Pukin' Punkin

I know you all probably received this via forwarded email in, oh... I don't know, 1999 (when the Internet was still new). But I still love it.

Happy Halloween!

Post-worthy

Three separate items - all are incredibly necessary to your day (and probably to your life - though I can't comfortably make that assertion).

1. "Down the hall":

We were talking about the overuse of quotes at work the other day and one of my coworkers forwarded this email to me (from her boss at her previous job). I have read it several times and it still makes me laugh out loud.

From: X
Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:23 AM
To: - DL - Corporate Division
Subject: "Down the hall" breaks

All staff need to "go down the hall" on occasion. Please be very "co-operative" when a co-worker requests "coverage" in order to do so. Our division has 2 areas that require "immediate" attention by our staff. They are the "counter" and "phones". These 2 areas must at all times be "manned".

All staff will try to take their "down the hall" breaks when at all possible during their times off the phones & counter, but let's all be co-operative with each other when the need arises.

Thanks.

2. Parent of the year award:

I don't even remember how this topic came up - but April was telling me about a family she used to nanny for and their 6-year-old daughter who had a bed wetting problem. After trying many other approaches, the grandma finally purchased a sort of diaper that gives you an ELECTRICAL SHOCK when you pee. I mean, honestly. I can't get over how ridiculous (and terribly mean) that is. The little girl was so scared of getting shocked in the middle of the night that she couldn't fall asleep. Well done, parents.

3. A puppy in a onesie:


Okay, I'm generally against clothing animals - but I think this puppy is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Target now has an extensive line of pet clothing and accessories (including pieces by renowned designer, Isaac Mizrahi) and we might discuss the societal implications of consumerism for pets at a later date - but for now, how adorable!

Independent Shops and Etsy

April and Joel started a campaign to support independent and local shops - so I'm going to try that for a while. They have been exclusively shopping local since September 1st and plan to stick to it for 6 months (though they did make an exception last weekend for Chipotle and Dunkin' Donuts since we were in Chicago).

The economist in me was hesitant at first - doesn't specialization increase efficiency? - but I do realize, of course, that efficiency isn't everything. So with the exception of grocery shopping (which requires a shift in lifestyle much larger than I can commit to right now), I will not set foot in any corporate establishments - including Starbucks, Target and Blockbuster - from now until March.

Fortunately, I recently discovered the brilliance that is Etsy - 'Your place to buy & sell all things handmade.'(TM) Not only is it a wonderful concept but the website is well-built, allowing you to do things like shop by color and view items that were recently purchased. There is now an Etsy Favorites section in my sidebar.

Doesn't it just make you feel good to see all of these people who are creating instead of just consuming? The world needs more of that.