Best Auld Lang Syne Moment Ever

Harry: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally: What?
Harry: I love you.
Sally: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry: How about, you love me too.
Sally: How about, I'm leaving.
Harry: Doesn't what I said mean anything to you?
Sally: I'm sorry, Harry. I know it's New Year's Eve. I know you're feeling lonely, but you just can't show up here, tell me you love me, and expect that to make everything all right. It doesn't work this way.
Harry: Well, how does it work?
Sally: I don't know, but not this way.
Harry: How about this way? I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you, Harry. I really hate you. I hate you.
[They kiss]
Harry: What does this song mean? My whole life, I don't know what this song means. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot'? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?
Sally: Well, maybe it just means that we should remember that we forgot them or something. Anyway, it's about old friends.

-When Harry Met Sally

Happy New Year!

Brr.

So it's cold. Cold-cold. And let's just say I'm not dealing well. (Fortunately, I splurged and bought this a few weeks ago. Totally worth the $20.) I experienced frozen nose hair a few nights ago and it was unpleasant, as usual, so I was complaining to Blake and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about. How is that possible after living here for so many years? Sometimes I wonder about that boy.

I started to doubt myself and did a google search for "frozen + nose + hair" so I could email him some scientific evidence of this phenomenon. But nothing - only personal accounts and some links to nose hair trimmers. I don't know what I expected - shouldn't Wikipedia have a page on frozen nose hair or something? I feel like the internet community is letting me down on this one.

So whoever has some free time, please Wiki it up. It needs to be done. The people of Minnesota, who suffer through 4 long months of cold every year, deserve a page dedicated to frozen nose hair.

Hints from Heloise

My aunt introduced me to the hilarity that is Hints from Heloise (a column in the Star Tribune) several years ago and life will never be the same. Heloise provides advice for housekeepers - and readers submit their tips for dealing with life's pesky little hassles. It's revolutionary stuff. So I'm sharing some of these brilliant tips with you - in hopes that maybe your life will be bettered, as mine has been.

Dear Heloise: Many times when using a public restroom, I find out too late that there is no toilet tissue. I'm sure this has happened to many of us ladies. In order to avoid this problem, reach for the tissue before preparing to use the toilet. You quickly and conveniently learn if there is tissue in that stall, and then you can go to another stall if need be. -- Gloria, Winter Haven, Fla.

Dear Heloise: When making a sandwich, I pull two pieces of bread out of the loaf. I spread the peanut butter on the downside of the top piece and the jelly on the upside of the bottom piece. This allows the pieces to fit together perfectly when pressed. This saves many embarrassing jelly drops on my shirt. Now everyone wants me to make the sandwiches because they think I am so clever. -- Gabrielle, Katy, Texas

Dear Heloise: My wife and I have discovered a way to create extra room in our luggage for the things we pick up along the way in our travels. Rather than taking our best underwear when we start out, we take the stuff that is ready to retire. At the end of each day, out go the old undies, and day by day we have more room for the things we buy. -- James Adams, via e-mail

No, I'm not making this up. Honestly. Don't you wonder who these people are?

More Hints from Heloise.

Morning Rant

I really want the sun to be up when I awake. Is that too much to ask?

And who scheduled daylight savings time this year? It's so off.

End Rant

Pukin' Punkin

I know you all probably received this via forwarded email in, oh... I don't know, 1999 (when the Internet was still new). But I still love it.

Happy Halloween!

Post-worthy

Three separate items - all are incredibly necessary to your day (and probably to your life - though I can't comfortably make that assertion).

1. "Down the hall":

We were talking about the overuse of quotes at work the other day and one of my coworkers forwarded this email to me (from her boss at her previous job). I have read it several times and it still makes me laugh out loud.

From: X
Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:23 AM
To: - DL - Corporate Division
Subject: "Down the hall" breaks

All staff need to "go down the hall" on occasion. Please be very "co-operative" when a co-worker requests "coverage" in order to do so. Our division has 2 areas that require "immediate" attention by our staff. They are the "counter" and "phones". These 2 areas must at all times be "manned".

All staff will try to take their "down the hall" breaks when at all possible during their times off the phones & counter, but let's all be co-operative with each other when the need arises.

Thanks.

2. Parent of the year award:

I don't even remember how this topic came up - but April was telling me about a family she used to nanny for and their 6-year-old daughter who had a bed wetting problem. After trying many other approaches, the grandma finally purchased a sort of diaper that gives you an ELECTRICAL SHOCK when you pee. I mean, honestly. I can't get over how ridiculous (and terribly mean) that is. The little girl was so scared of getting shocked in the middle of the night that she couldn't fall asleep. Well done, parents.

3. A puppy in a onesie:


Okay, I'm generally against clothing animals - but I think this puppy is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Target now has an extensive line of pet clothing and accessories (including pieces by renowned designer, Isaac Mizrahi) and we might discuss the societal implications of consumerism for pets at a later date - but for now, how adorable!

Independent Shops and Etsy

April and Joel started a campaign to support independent and local shops - so I'm going to try that for a while. They have been exclusively shopping local since September 1st and plan to stick to it for 6 months (though they did make an exception last weekend for Chipotle and Dunkin' Donuts since we were in Chicago).

The economist in me was hesitant at first - doesn't specialization increase efficiency? - but I do realize, of course, that efficiency isn't everything. So with the exception of grocery shopping (which requires a shift in lifestyle much larger than I can commit to right now), I will not set foot in any corporate establishments - including Starbucks, Target and Blockbuster - from now until March.

Fortunately, I recently discovered the brilliance that is Etsy - 'Your place to buy & sell all things handmade.'(TM) Not only is it a wonderful concept but the website is well-built, allowing you to do things like shop by color and view items that were recently purchased. There is now an Etsy Favorites section in my sidebar.

Doesn't it just make you feel good to see all of these people who are creating instead of just consuming? The world needs more of that.

Zombie Dance

Back to So You Think You Can Dance, this is upon recommendation from the Abby-Girl - (it's also one of my favorite dances ever). The choreographer, Wade Robson, just won an Emmy for it. And Mia Michaels also won an Emmy this year - yay!

Practically Famous

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/005255.html

For those of you who are keeping track, this was overheard at a temp job I had last spring - a certain distributor of building materials, specifically for roofing.

Thank God I'm a Country Girl

Okay, so I'm not really a country girl. In fact, I start to feel out of place as soon as I get anywhere north of, say, Shoreview. But I understand the appeal of the small-town, slower-pace lifestyle and would love to move to the country - if only I could find a town with a progressive, free-thinking, socially conscious population. It's not because I believe that's the only acceptable way to approach life - there's value in differing beliefs and opinions - but it's just that I prefer to be around people who don't make me want to throw rocks at them when they speak.

Anyway, I've been a country music fan almost as long as I've been a music fan. And I think it's too bad that so many of us (especially in the city) avoid it. I appreciate the wholesome themes of true love, family, simplicity and faith in God.

So I share with you some of my favorite country music lyrics. (There are so many, it's hard to choose.)

I have wondered this world far and wide
I've been all around to the other side
But there's nothin' like comin' home
I wanna sit on my front porch and drink my lemonade
Cut my grass after church every Sunday
And go out on Saturday night
Live the simple life
Wake up in the morning to these fields of gold
And take a long walk down a gravel road
Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Simple Life

My grandma was a wise old soul
Took me by the hand not long ago
Said, "Son, what's your hurry, boy slow it down
Taste the wild honey, listen to the sound
Of the wind that's blowin' through the trees
Rivers flowin' to the sea
Yeah they're all headin' home just like you and me
Life's for livin' child, can't you see?"
Keith Urban, These Are the Days

'Cause it's the first long kiss on a second date
Momma's all worried when you get home late
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate
'cause your hands are shakin' so much
And it's the way that she looks with the rice in her hair
Eatin' burnt supper the whole first year
And askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up
Yeah man, that's the good stuff
Kenny Chesney, The Good Stuff

There are also country music lyrics I hate, of course - songs about the U.S. of A. putting a boot in your ass, 'cause it's the American way. But I won't get into those, at least not in this post.

My Bedroom Door

I have recently been wanting to post several creations that are not my own - poems, quotes, art, tongue twisters and the like that I have been collecting over the years - so I've created a separate blog. Hopefully someone besides me can enjoy it.

My Bedroom Door

The name was inspired by the location of the original collection, which was my bedroom door. (I know, I'm creative like that.)

"Life is burritoful."

If I was feeling really creative, I might write a short ode to Chipotle, the maker of all burrito-y goodness.

As it is, I'll just post this link. You can calculate the nutrition information for your specific variety of burrito (or tacos, or whatever you might consume).

My Chipotle Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 Burrito

Calories 1174 Calories from Fat 420

Total Fat 47g
Saturated Fat 18g
Cholesterol 166mg
Sodium 2989mg
Total Carbohydrate 125g
Dietary Fiber 10.5g
Sugars 6g
Protein 61g
Vitamin A 109%
Vitamin C 39%
Calcium 52%
Iron 24%

Chipotle Nutrition
Results provided by: Chipotle Fan.com

And now we have another testament to Chipotle's brilliance - one burrito, one meal and (almost) one entire day's worth of calories. Yummm.

Best. Choreography. On TV.

So You Think You Can Dance is one of the two TV shows that I watch (the other is The Office).

Mia Michaels (choreographer of the first two pieces) is a goddess. Really. The second of her's here is the story of reuniting with her dad in heaven - just amazing.

The third piece is the best disco I've ever seen - so much fun (not sure who the choreographer is).

Why I ♥ the Internet - Part I

I often hear people argue that the Internet is useless, detrimental to our society and lacking in quality content.

I vehemently disagree. There is so much information available on the Internet that I never dreamed would be possible to find - and so much more that I never dreamed would exist. Like this:

Muppet Wiki - Snuffleupaguses


“The back of Mr. Snuffleupagus has been performed by Richard Hunt, Brian Muehl, Frank Kane, and Peter Friedman, but since 1979, the regular back-end has been Bryant Young.”

Blake has suggested I look into this position as I explore various career paths.

These Days

This is me, these days:

That's a slight exaggeration, I guess. It's actually more like this:

DISASTER

As long as we're talking about home organization (well, I am), I have to post this photo. It's from an ad for Smart Spin. It reminds me of my worst nightmares.

The thing is, Blake's tupperware cupboard actually does look like this. And I have, on several occasions, opened it only to be attacked by an army of improperly stored containers.

But these are the labors of love.

Closets and Love

Once upon a time I fell in love with home organization. I don't know exactly when it happened. I have fond memories of the house I grew up in, organizing and reorganizing my bedroom closet - emptying it completely and putting everything back in carefully chosen spots. While other kids were outside playing, I was in my closet. (Well, I did also spend a decent amount of time outside.)

Then when I was 13 we moved and I entered a whole new frontier in the world of organization. The closet in my new bedroom was larger than the old one, but without adequate shelving. I was aghast, as you might imagine. My mom and I made a trip to The Container Store (I thought I had found heaven on earth), measurements in hand, and I designed my first shelving system. My dad and I installed it together and there was a place for everything. Happier times I cannot remember.

But sadly, I have recently realized that I will never, never achieve the closet organization enlightenment I have always dreamed of. Much like everything else in our society, the closets we are accustomed to seeing in magazines, the closets we are led to believe are the ideal - are not even closets. See Exhibit A. I'd like to meet someone who owns clothing in only three coordinating shades. Exhibit B - who actually purchases food based on packaging color or repackages it in coordinating glass canisters? And if these are the closets, then where are people supposed to store the rest of their things?

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Yes, they're easy on the eyes, but I demand realism in the home organization industry. Someone needs to acknowledge that most of us own more than five shirts. I want to see skirts of various lengths and purses that are not freestanding. Show me what a real closet looks like - with halter tops, strapless dresses and bulky sweaters that don't stack well. Show me a closet that lives, breathes, is beautiful and can actually be used.

Thoughts over Alfredo Florentine

I have been thinking a lot lately about corporations (and highly recommend watching The Corporation to anyone who hasn't). These thoughts are with me specifically, now, as I'm eating my lovely frozen meal of Chicken Alfredo Florentine at my desk, as a temp, in the guest office at Anonymous Company A.

On a side note, one of my coworkers thinks it would be really funny if I changed my name to Guest (because that's what the nameplate says). He also thinks it's really funny to make jokes about temp workers killing permanent employees and hiding the dead bodies around the office. Haha.

I know corporations aren't an unchartered topic and I don't expect these thoughts to be revolutionary, by any means. But seriously, what's the deal with merging and acquiring? Is it some primal urge that we have? Do we need safety in numbers?

The goal seems to be building an empire with subsidiaries of affiliates and partners of holding companies. Why isn't it enough to be small and just do what you do really well? (And I pose this question mostly to the men of the world - because we all know that if solely women were running the place things would be much different.)

Underqualified for Life - the intro

I thought I'd do well being a temp but I have to admit, it's starting to stress me out. There is something to be said for predictability in life. At the same time, do I really want to commit to something for the next year or more? (Panic sets in.)

Anyway, I had an interview last week for an Office Services Coordinator position at a great company. I would be good at it, it wouldn't be too stressful and I think I'd be happy. Unfortunately, the interview did not go well and I've been analyzing it since trying to figure out why. My conclusion is that the questions she asked me were ridiculous - but probably fitting for the position - and I hadn't properly prepared for them.

"Can you tell me about your experience with printer toner?"

"Sure... in the office I managed previously, we had a printer... and... it used toner... and I was responsible for replacing the toner cartridge."
(silence)
"...When it was empty."

"Okay, great. And what is your experience with ordering office supplies?"

"Well, in that same position I was also responsible for ordering office supplies... for our office of 4 people."
(silence)
"...Paper clips, post-it notes, pens."

"And how did you know when those items needed to be ordered?"

"Um, I would usually look in the office supply room and notice that we were running low on something. Or someone would tell me if they needed a particular supply... usually."

Tuesday begins Week 9 of life as a temp and my new assignment involves researching and applying previously unapplied payments.

Please tell me I have more to look forward to than this.

I've been avoiding a blog about 'nothing' - because that's what the rest of the world does. But it turns out I just have too much to say about 'nothing' to keep it all to myself.